How Children See the World
NUDITY
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening
when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was
stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old
shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!"
HONESTY
My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me
he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw
it in the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran
to my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said
with a charming little smile, "We better throw this one out too then,
because it fell in the toilet a few days ago."
OPINIONS
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a
note from his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child
are not necessarily those of his parents."
KETCHUP
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the jar.
During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter
to answer the phone. "It's the minister, Mommy," the child said to her
mother. Then she added, "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to
you right now. She's hitting the bottle."
MORE NUDITY
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's
locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with
ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in
amazement and then asked, "What's the matter haven't you ever seen a little
boy before?"
ELDERLY
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly
shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon
rounds. The various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers
and wheelchairs, unfailingly intrigued her. One day I found her
staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the
inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered,
"The tooth fairy will never believe this!"
DRESS-UP
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she
saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear
that suit." "And why not, darling?" "You know that it always gives you a
headache the next morning."
SCHOOL
A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm
just wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't
write and they won't let me talk!"
BIBLE
A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he
fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible.
He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf
that had been pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I found",
the boy called out." "What have you got there, dear?" With astonishment in
the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear!"
